Sushi Maki and assorted nuts

Last Friday was one of those disastrous days when not only do you not accomplish anything you set out to do, but everything goes wrong.  Every gray hair I have I can directly attribute to my son.  Well, my ex-husband is probably responsible for a few.  After a midday nap to forget my craptastic day, I went over to Wendy's apartment with Evil G.  We made pizza and picked up some rolls from Sushi Maki in Sunset, and washed down the whole mess with the Passion Fruit and Guava wines from Schnebly Redland's Winery my mom got for Christmas and donated to the cause.  The pizza dough was definitely something I'd use again-I like my pizza extra vegetable-y and I'm too cheap to pay for it.  And those vacuum sealed containers are so fun and retro American to open...where's my oil cloth apron when I need it?  I just had a piece from the JB roll and California roll Evil G bought but it was soooo good...I swear, sushi turns me on.  Just saying.  The wine I found too sweet - the guava I liked better than the passion fruit.  We revisited Swingers and I swear we didn't even crack a smile until the last three minutes of the movie.  It did NOT age well.  I kept waiting for the dancing, and there was a lot less of it than I remembered.

Saturday night I went to Tobacco Road to see Juke play.  Man, I loves me some harmonica.  And, isn't every man that much hotter when when he's got tattoo sleeves?  Midway through their set the lead singer was fumbling for a light and I walked up to give him my lighter...oh, no, you keep it, honey.  Sigh.  I think I should go there more often; it's one of the few places I've been to lately that feels age appropriate.  I've always wanted to try their midnight steak dinner, too.  Oh, and to the woman having that awesome time dancing?  Yeah, dance like no one is watching but please, never, never, tuck your blouse into your shiny black American Apparel leggings again.  We pregamed at my apartment before heading out, and I got Sam Adams Coastal Wheat and Shock Top.  Yeah, I know it's not very hard core of me but I really prefer Belgium Wheats...I didn't like the Sam Adams at all, it seemed very flat and tasteless...I've had Shock Top before (Harvey's has it on tap) and I like it.  As an aside, my recycling bin has an embarassing amount of alchol containers in it...does being green make up for being a drunk?  After Tobacco Road we got some pizza at Casola's, which is a Miami institution for late night drunken munchies.  I swear, that must be one of the worst things ever - working the late night shift at Casola's on a weekend.  I can't imagine how many people have puked in that parking lot.

Sunday I went to the Greek Festival at St. Sophia Greek Orthodox Cathedral.  I'm not really sure why.  Such a pretty church!  I think one of my all time favorite smells, besides Sharpies, is the smell of old churches...all that wood, those candles and incense...it's delicious!  We had some Greek food and yeah, I've already given my opinion on that.  Then a long nap and a return to Sushi Maki for a proper meal, which honestly didn't impress me as much as it did on Friday, though it was still very good and fairly well priced.  I didn't care for the vegetable dumplings - the sauce was too vinegary.  I do appreciate the healthy amount of fish in the rolls.  Sad to report, their spicy tuna roll did not pass my litmus test.  Also, I don't like my restaurants cutesy and I have to say, they fall just short of being too clever.  Their gorgeous take out bags almost redeems their haiku tutorials and chopsticks cartoons.  Though it's a good way to separate the wheat from the chaff; go with someone there on a first date and see if the chopsticks wrapper inspires them to actually make walrus teeth with the chopsticks.  Went to Sunset Place to see Shutter Island on a gift card my sister gave me for Christmas (the really confusing one was the one she gave me for IHOP).  At least this gift card had a balance on it; my mother and I just about died laughing when we tried to use a Walmart gift card she gave us recently...and it had only a balance of $3.82 left on it.  Merry Christmas to you, too!  Honestly, she is just very distracted, it's not deliberate.  Stop reading now if you don't want to read a spoiler on Shutter Island.

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT

I personally don't care if people spoil movies for me since I rarely go, and knowing the ending doesn't affect the experience for me much...I'm not big on surprises but I know a lot of people hate it.  Anywho, the movie was fine, I mean, how could it not be?  It was not a horror movie as I expected from the trailer, so I behaved fairly well during it.  The ending was all right, a plot twist that's been done before and will be done again...but it's an effective one (just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you...or maybe you are only paranoid, after all).  I had to think about it a bit, the very end where DiCaprio's character goes off willingly to his lobotomy...but then I figured, ok, he wants this because he can't stand thinking about what happened to his wife and kids anymore.  I'm all right with that...but I hated the fact that it was all a deliberate role playing ruse set up by the entire psychiatric staff and with the cooperation of a bunch of mental patients...I mean, come on.  Puh-leze.  That is just too unlikely, and screw your suspended disbelief...if several important elements of the story solely exist in his imagination, why couldn't it all be like that?  Makes more sense.  Honestly, the role playing explanation was about as crazy as what he was imagining!

Heelsha

Went with a nice large group to Heelsha for my first foray into Indian food.  Evil G and I shared our meal of vegetable Samosas, Keema (ground beef and onion naan) and Pumpkin Vhuna, which we ordered mild, thank you very much.  Lydia and Monger were sitting closest to me so of course I had to taste their food, and I did manage to make my way around quite a bit of the table.  They ordered Spinach and Cheese Naan, vegetable Samosas, and Lamb Korma.  The lamb was very tender and whatever was in that creamy, spicy sauce was tasty...in fact, everything I tasted was very good.  Especially the naan.  So what's the problem?

Zyon said that Indian food was the new sushi for her, for me...not so much.  I have the same problem with Greek food; everything is very good and some things are wonderful, but it's all just too flavorful somehow.  I can only take three bites of any one taste before I'm ready for the next plate.  I think a buffet would work out better for me in the future with Indian food.  The only thing I could have gorged on was the most lovely Mango Lassi.  Yes, yes, yes.  It was so perfect: creamy, faintly eggy, sweet but not too sweet, rich but not too...I had to ration it to make it last longer.  Not as good?  the Masala Lassi that Valentine ordered.  No, no, no.  It was almost as bad as taking a shot of Jack Daniels...speaking of shots - Bacardi Razz is the devil's piss.  'Nuff said.

The real downfall of this place is the God awful wait.  The meal took three hours, start to finish.  Monger:  did they birth an Indian baby to grow up and cook our meal?  Lydia:  did they have to slaughter the lamb to make my food?  Well, thank God they didn't overhear us.  Our little Indian boy did turn out to be a good cook, but I'm not throwing my Thai wife out the door anytime soon.  I'm just too American to sit around and chat, waiting for a meal, I want to eat and go.  I imagined a couple on their first date at that place; it would definitely either make or break the relationship from the start.

Lemongrass Asian Bistro

Sometimes it feels like you'll never eat anything exceptional again, that you're going to spend loads of cash on mediocre sushi places and never experience what made you fall in love with the stuff in the first place.  Then, sometimes a meal is like all the stars aligning and angels picking up their trumpets and little birds eating out of your hand.  And, it's on someone's else's tab!  Well.  It's like life giving you a high five.

I went to Lemongrass Asian Bistro for GS's sister's birthday.  It was really a family event but luckily the delicious food trumped any awkwardness I felt and soon I was eating off relative strangers' plates.  Well, I did wait for them to offer, first.

What to say about it?  They just got the basics right.  I'm no expert, but I know how Seaweed Salad should taste, and I know how homemade ginger salad dressing should taste, and that's what we got last night.  I got the Tuna Tartar in a Crispy Hand Roll that was admittedly not my favorite of all time (up to the present, I am optimistic enough to forsee many tuna tartar dishes in my future) but only because it was a bit too spicy and I'm a lightweight when it comes that.  I had a salmon roll that had a generous amount of salmon I could actually taste.  Usually those simple rolls just taste like sushi rice and seaweed.  GS and his dad had big sashimi plates and I swear, the white tuna was like butter (Butter!  Like a big stick of butter!)  I dropped a piece of salmon and it took all my willpower not to eat it...I would have, if I had been with friends or my own family.

Everything was beautifully presented and I took several pictures of everything to send to Allegra.  Course, my Samsung doesn't do art photography like her Iphone but, she got the idea.

The place was expensive-ish, but worth it.  Worth the price, worth the drive.  Happy Birthday to me!

Total Wine & More and Obba Sushi

Valentine hosted a wine testing/finger foods party for her significant other last night, so we made a stop at Total Wine & More to pick up some wine to bring.  I know NOTHING about wine and only recently even starting drinking the stuff (I'm a beer kind of girl) so I loved how they clearly describe the wines and mark the top three sellers of each type...it's like school for aspiring alcoholics!  I forget what I bought, it was their #2 Merlot, but it was very tasty, as far as wine goes  (I had to look it up, it was Angeline Merlot, Sonoma County).  I drooled over their beer selection and had to buy something...and the awesome checkout lady (awesome because she was impressed by how young I look, an easy way to get on my good side) told me that they are opening a Total Wine in Dadeland!  The Internets reveal, "They are actually opening a Total Wine across from Dadeland, in the former Linens N Things space, next to Crate and Barrel."  If The Internets say it, it must be true.  Enough proof for me.

I went to Obba Sushi a couple nights ago, totally psyched because it's within walking distance of my current residence.  It could have, and should have been, pure joy but instead it was not much to rave about.  I had their tuna tartar, and it was edible though the least delicious tuna tartar I've had.  The fish was too processed and was mushy, and they overpowered the tuna with excessive amounts of scallions.  Something to hide, hmmm?  The flavor of raw fish is too delicate to mess with.  Less is more, and sashimi is king.  Theirs was ok, FYI.  The portions seemed a bit small, the prices seemed a bit high, and I don't think I'll need to go back.

I'm moving soon, to an apartment in the Silver Bluff/Shenandoah area, and it's like worlds apart from Brickell.  I'm already scoping out the places to eat :)  Looks like http://www.urbanspoon.com/ refers to it as the "Coral Way" area.  Casola's!  Daily Bread!  El Carajo!  Here I come!

DJ Craze @ White Room

The perfect drink schedule for maximum bounce and/or wiggle ability if you're not much of a dancer: pregaming beer at home, overpriced beer in club with subsequent sticker shock, two swallows of Jack in the car with expected gagging/choking, and then three or um, four? beers in the club after you throw caution and your budget to the winds and open a tab. I saw DJ Craze at White Room on Saturday, and learned that I am apparently a huge fan of breakbeats and drum n bass. Who knew?

I had friggin blast (damn you, Jersey Shore, I hear your voices everywhere) and left the place like at 4am. Some random cute hipster guy started to grind up on me and of course I was in heaven. Justin danced with me in that cool, remote way they do nowadays and then just quietly faded in the night. Cute!

Well, I'm supposed to be keeping costs down but it was an expensive night. The cover to get in alone was $15, and the first beer I had, along with Wendy's Jack and Coke, came out to $17. One good way to economize is to go with a very good friend (Wendy) who, out of her appreciative and generous nature repaid me for not bailing on her on one of the coldest nights eva by buying my drinks and sharing her flask. I only paid my cover and then gave Wendy my remaining $5, which barely made a dent in the drink bill I'm sure (shudder!).

When we were driving up to White Room I remembered the scene from Knocked Up where the pregnant chick and her older sister tried to get into the club and the bouncer wouldn't let them in.

Doorman: I know... you're right. I'm so sorry, I fuckin' hate this job. I don't want to be the one to pass judgement, decide who gets in. Shit makes me sick to my stomach, I get the runs from the stress. It's not cause you're not hot, I would love to tap that ass. I would tear that ass up. I can't let you in cause you're old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
Debbie: What?
Doorman: You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around.

Well, Wendy is not pregnant but I'm definitely getting, um, up there in the years. One of these days I fear this is going to happen to me, but until then...I will accompany my much younger friends to the ends of the earth for such a good time. Or, at least, Wendy.

Speaking of Knocked Up, I saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Omigod, hilarious! It was so funny I made my friend stop the movie and restart it, halfway through, cause I talk during movies and I was sure I missed some funny lines. I even texted myself some of the best lines for future use. Really, with my annoying habits, it's a wonder I find anyone to spend time with me lol

Mystic Water Kava Bar

I rounded up a motley crew of public servants to try kava kava at the recently opened Mystic Water Kava Bar.  The extremely cute proprietress gave an excellent spiel and the presentation was all that...but unfortunately, we didn't feel much of the sedative effects kava kava is reported to have.  The staff there cleverly informed us that the body needs to built up enzymes to properly utilize kava kava and with repeated ingestion, blah blah blah...so, of course, we are expected to keep returning, swilling expensive, chalky pond water in the hope that someday, SOMEDAY, we will feel SOMETHING.

We skipped out after $80 worth of kava kava and intelligently decided to turn to more reliable forms of intoxication.  We went to Hollywood Vine where we were joined by JC, who entertained us all with his special brand of social adeptness, peculiar to those in the sales field.  We government employees have far more subtle social skills; we gleam more than shine.  JC is like a search light.  The place is sophisticated, pretty, and has bathrooms up to par for those who have phobias about public restrooms (Evil G has a tortured soul).

After that, a few stragglers went to PRL Euro Cafe  for one last fancy pants beer.  Lately I like for people to order for me, and I gave JC free rein to choose my beers since he knows more about beer than anyone should.  We offered up a dollar bill to the wall of decorated money to immortalize another boozy night.

I've been using Annie's Organic Buying Club for my fresh, organic produce for about two months now. I prefer them to Farm Fresh Miami because Annie's doesn't force you to pay registration fees; you pay as you go along. I'm getting a half share every two weeks for $36.50. I like it because, since you don't choose what is in your box, it forces you to try new things and get outside your culinary comfort zone. Of course, I still am perplexed by that watermelon radish, lying in my produce drawer. And I realize I hate arugula. But hey, I kind of like having choices taken away from me (which is probably why I like people to order for me, as I previously mentioned). I've even turned on a couple friends to Annie's. As a compensation for this, I'd like to request no more arugula. Ever. That's all.

Miss Yip Chinese Cafe

Ate here on New Year's Eve, suffering under the miasma of PMS and end-of-year reflections. I should really have picked a better place to get some lunch, considering my mood. We ended up with small, overpriced, underflavored portions. They offered us Snapple when we asked for tea, for crissake.
I mean, my local Canton is a better deal and dining experience, and they don't even have the benefit of hipster decor and bored, handsome, wait staff. Eh. I won't go back there. I'm too broke (even when it's someone else's money) to waste money on mediocre food and dining experiences. Luckily the day was salvaged by my late night ingestion of an entire bottle of sparkling white wine (let's not elevate it by calling it champagne) and twelves grapes at midnight. Twelves wishes, anyone?